Whew. A few
days rest from the basketball bouncing around in my head!! But here we go
again! Yesterday, March Madness took off anew.
The
worst/best part about these games is that one sits too much and ponders what to
eat next while watching! My thoughts turn to the refrigerator; the “meat
keeper” area where I store the cheese sticks, beef jerky, and lo carb
tortillas! Just a little won’t hurt, I say to my Paleo/Atkins/Lo Carb diet
induced brain! Sooner or later, I head for the celery and the peanut butter!
It’s
amazing how much I can cram in my mouth when I am nervous and coaching from the
couch!
My friend
Tilly says that since being involved in the March Madness frenzy, her body has
gone into total shut down and that she needs to exercise and get with the
program. If this basketball thing goes on any longer, we both will look like
“Jabba the Hutt”….a blob of a thing that was a character in “Star Wars”.
Fred and I
did tear ourselves away from the television on Saturday night to attend a
“Prairie Arts” dinner where the comedian kept us laughing for a good hour or
more. That was a good thing…it made me spruce up the “basketball” neglected
bod. It was an EFFORT!
Polish
toenails. Check. Wash hair. Set hair. Back comb hair. Spray hair. Check.
Iron
clothes. Try on clothes. Take off clothes. Iron more clothes. Try on clothes.
Ah. That will work. Check.
Select
jewelry. Look for lost earring that goes with the necklace. Search everywhere.
Find it in the little jar on the dresser. Check.
Find a pair
of shoes that goes with clothes that fit. Stand on step stool to reach shelf up
high where the extra shoes can be found. Check.
Change
purse. Take all the stuff out of big,
ugly, black purse and jam it into little white basket purse. Look in mirror to
see if little purse looks better! Yes. Check.
I think I just might be ready.
Now for
Fred! Fred is still sitting in the
living room watching the last five minutes of one of the games. “Fred, what are you going to wear?”
“Oh. I
don’t know. I think I will dress up. Wear a pair of dress pants and a nice
shirt:”
“Do you
want me to iron something?”
“No, I
think I know what I am wearing?”
“ Do you
want your toenails painted? “ (hoping to get a rise out of him since I am
walking around with my toes spread, drying …) Fred stares at the television.
“How about
plucking your eyebrows?” (When donkeys fly!)
“Do you
want me to set your hair?” ( ha ha) He’s still watching the game. I am
non-existent.
Fred
answers with “No, it’s fine”, although I know he isn’t listening to me, really.
I am trying to be funny and he is engrossed in catching parts of the game.
“Which
shoes are you going to wear?” (Fred has bunions and only has three pairs of
shoes that fit so there’s no decision to be made here either!)
Fred gets
up to get ready.
Soon, Mr.
Fred comes out of the bedroom looking like ..well…very good… and totally ready. He sits down in front of
the TV to catch the last few minutes.
I am now
trying on my fifth outfit.
Next comes
fixing my face! The transformation begins!
First layer, second layer, eye shadow, eyebrow pencil, blush. Hmmm. Not
bad.
Whew. This whole process sure
required a lot of effort, and total dedication to one goal….Get out the door
looking presentable.
And Fred?
Nothing to
it
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