On Choosing Your Woman's Gift

            Christmas! It's quickly barreling down on us!

            Men, today's message is particularly for you!

            You have exactly 16 days to buy your lady a gift. You don't know what to buy her, do you? Or maybe you do and have the big gift all purchased and wrapped.

            But I doubt it. Men's psyches don't work that way!

            I will tell a story.

            Some many years ago while spending Christmas day with Fred's parents, we were seated around the tree, enjoying the traditional ritual. Each took turns opening our gifts. As I recall, my Mother-in-law gave her husband a sweater and a matching tie.

            When it came time for her to open her gift from him, she wrestled with the paper on the big box, and finally was able to pry the box lid apart. He had a look of expectant pleasure on his face. However, you should have seen her face when she discovered that he had given her a set of new, shiny, pots and pans!

            You could have heard a pin drop.  He was waiting for her comment. She said little.

            You see, women don't want pots and pans, or a new vacuum. She was not disappointed particularly, because neither she nor he had come from a background where one had lots of possessions. No, she was not disappointed. She was hurt and she said nothing.

            Poor guy.  He meant well.

            Now, to help you guys from suffering a similar fate, I am going to suggest some ideas. Maybe one of them will resonate, or lead you to thinking of another possibility.

            It's not the amount of money that you spend. It's the thought. Most of you fellows are not equipped with those neurons, so I will help.

            I love to shop, and look, so I am here for you.

            Perfumes are good. They are risky though, if you don't know her likes. But any perfume will elicit a good "mantra"….Ahhhhh. And be sure to keep the receipt, just in case she has to exchange it.

            Candy is good; chocolate especially.  Godiva chocolates. She will say, "You know I can't eat those. I am on a diet", while she silently plots how she will hide them where she can have a piece or two at a time. (Or maybe the entire box!)

            Jewelry.  Earrings.  Don't worry about taste. Buy what YOU like. Get a receipt again. But, if you select diamonds? Don't worry. She will like them!

            If you have an idea of sizes, a cute "work out" ensemble is an idea. But it is NOT a good idea if you are hinting that she needs to get on an exercise program! No fair giving subliminal messages with your gift. Another idea would be to give any clothing, and the clothes styles now are beautiful. A "one size fits all" draped open sweater would be nice. Any clerk will help you with this purchase.

            A candle is always a nice luxury, but it cannot be a dollar candle. Buy a nice, beautiful scented candle and be prepared to pay anywhere from  $20 to $40, depending on the size and brand.  

            A luxurious robe is always welcome. Please don't scrimp here. There are "robes" and then there are "ROBES". It needs to be plush, and warm, and an attractive color. The salesperson will know if you don't.

            You might want a new popcorn popper, or a better coffee pot, but don't give these things for a gift unless she has specifically asked for it. However, a "milk froth-er" machine would be a fun toy. It whips up skim milk to a hard froth and the flavored froth sits on top of the coffee. Delicious treat.  A Keurig coffee maker is always a luxury if the "she" in your life loves good brew.

            A laptop computer is a great gift if you want to spend that much. I know a man from way back who gave his wife a microwave for Christmas. That was a tragedy too, and he didn't live long after that. Don't.

            A good set of ear buds might be alright. The good ones cost anywhere from $25 to $40. But they are worth every cent. Every cheap pair I have bought never lasts long and the sound is not good.  I still don't have a good pair.

             Fred? Are you reading this?

            One of the very BEST, top notch gifts I love to give or get is a gift card! You can buy one at any local business, and if you want to use a big box store, there are cards galore to choose in Dillons. Who doesn't like to get money, and who doesn't like to buy whatever he or she wants at one's favorite store? Money is the right size and the right color, after all.

            Maybe now, men, you don't have to get into a panic mode at the last minute.

            You can do it! Get ready, set, GO!

           

On Foraging for Edible Foods

            I read an article sometime back decrying our American preoccupation of cultivating green, grassy, lawns.  It went something like this.

            We plant grass, we fertilize it, and we water it. Then we cut it. We haul it off. We  mow with expensive lawn mowers that need gas and oil . All expensive. We cut the grass, collect it in piles, and then discard the very grass that we have been working so hard to grow. Then the process starts all over again. We do it over and over.

            We deplete valuable, fertile soil to raise our grass, so we fertilize so that we can grow more…and all this time we are diligently working at getting  rid of the varmint weeds…you know, the dandelions and the lambs quarter.

            We are such lemmings. I don't even know if we know why we invest such time and money in growing grass! We just do.

            In California, there is a terrible water shortage. But even before that drought became serious, a movement was escalating among the "yuppie" crowd to forget grass and grow food instead. Even front yard rock gardens could be attractively arranged with edibles. You know, like olden times! A garden! There's a site aimed at this pursuit and it is www.foodnotlawns.com . Take a look. Maybe get some tips?

            But there's more to this story. I have discovered and am learning slowwwwwly that there are many edible plants around that we are discarding or ignoring. We are totally clueless. Such knowledge has disappeared among this "modern" and very dependent population.

            Some of you know. You recognize these natural edible herbs, berries, tubers, and the like.  Not me. I am still at the kindergarten level.

             Let's look at Dandelions.  Do you know that they are good to eat? This free food is right under our noses. But, we dig them up, or spray them to keep them from spreading. The lowly Dandelion happens to be a great source of iron, Vitamins A and C, Calcium and many other vitamins and minerals. The yellow head is the edible part. It must be picked early in the Spring. The harvested  head can be dipped in egg and bread crumbs; then fried for a delicious snack. If you try this be sure it hasn't been sprayed with herbicides. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zgh_qo--QJ8

            There are scads of books available on Amazon relating to the edible plants among our natural vegetation.

            Fred hunts Morel mushrooms. Yes, you need to know what you are hunting .The Morel is distinctive in its appearance.

            The  native sand hill plums are ripening now. They make delicious jelly and jams. And most of the time, these bushes are available to any one for the picking.

            Elderberries are delicious too. They hang in clusters on bushes and are deep purple. The only reason I don't pick them is because I am a bit lazy. But I am turning over a new leaf! No pun intended.

            Lamb's Quarter is another available naturally grown vegetable. Once you recognize its distinctive look, you will find it. Lamb's Quarter makes great salads, and is similar in taste to fresh spinach.

            Day Lilies can be eaten as well.  Prolific in the wild or in the garden, they open in the morning and close at night. They bear flowers, blossoms, and shriveled blooms (all edible)  at the same time and are distant cousins of the onion. Their tubers are edible as well, and can be harvested in early April or late October. The tubers look like thin potatoes and can be boiled. The flower petals and buds can be picked and dipped in egg and bread crumbs and fried. Once fried on both sides, they resemble bacon, and taste sweet with a bit of zing. Look up "Blanche Cybele Derby? on You Tube and watch some of her videos.

            If you are like me, this information might overwhelm, and yet, it intrigues one to know more. People actually used to know this information.

            We are accustomed to running to the grocery store for food, but we might want to recognize other sources for food.  At least, if nothing else, plant something that can be eaten. . It's not hard. Ask Fred.

             The abundant returns are, well, rewarding! 

On Making a Bucket List

            Have you ever thought about making a "bucket list"? Are there secret dreams or hopes that you have stifled or given up ever achieving?  Do you have a passionate interest in something that has of yet been pushed to "someday"?

            I hope that we have dreams, hopes and goals  that we have not yet achieved. But many of us are running in so many directions that we don't take the time to consider even one option.

            Is this you?

            The movie, "The Bucket List," released in 2007, starred Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. The two were portrayed as two elderly, terminally ill men who escaped from a Cancer treatment hospital to head off on a road trip to fulfill a list of "to-dos" before they die. The film was a heart-warming and message friendly story.

            This "bucket list" idea took off like wildfire in this country. Eventually, the "bucket list" concept transitioned from applying just to the aged to being pertinent to all ages.

            Having said all of this, I now find that creating a "bucket list" takes a great deal of time and thought. It doesn't happen during the rush of our daily lives.  Maybe sometimes a desire can fall on one during mind crowding moments. But, recognized and verbalized thoughts and hopes take time to travel from the heart to the head, and then out the mouth.

            Young couples have dreams that are easy to list. A home of their own, a family vacation to Disney World, a nice car, or a good job are only a few of their goals and dreams.  Then there are hopes such as healing, restoration of marriages, world peace. But these are not what I am referring to at this time.  These are prayerful and deep needs..

            No, a "bucket list" is a compilation of those things you want to see, hear, touch, taste before your last days on earth.

            Are you dead yet? Are you in the grave? Then, you might want to consider that there TRULY are a number of things you would like to do.

            Amazon sells a "Bucket List Journal" that offers to motivate and lead some of us totally empty headed, dull souls who do not know where to begin. I tend to be content and totally "que sera, sera", but that's not always an interesting approach to life, now is it?

            Here are some of the leading items on Bucket Lists. Maybe now, you can get started and use a few of these suggestions? I did not list them all here.

            Please don't let my comments discourage you. Go for it!

             Take a road trip. (mmm. That's a no brainer. But where?)

            Hike down Grand Canyon. (I will need a back pack filled with chocolates for that one)

            Go parachute jumping (Nah. I would die just standing there looking out the plane door)

            Go to Antarctica  (Do you suppose they have a Starbucks there?)

            Celebrate Mardi Gras in New Orleans. (After about five minutes of that, I would probably say, "enough" )

            Save a life (Most of us already have done that! Our kids, for one thing!)

            Stand in a Prison cell in Alcatraz. (I have done that. It's pretty stark)

            Visit Berlin, explore Iceland, visit Croatia, visit Rome,

            Pet a Penguin (Do they bite?)

            Fly first class. (My kids do that. We go coach!)

            Visit Argentina's Iguazu Falls ( Again, plenty of chocolate bars in my back pack)

            Climb Mt. Kilmanjaro  ( pant pant)

            Stay in an ice hotel in Sweden. (Can you bring your electric blanket?)

            Learn how to ride a bike. (And attach a basket for your chocolate)

            Kayak through caves. ( not in Anarctica, I hope)

            Am I hopeless or what?

            Any one can lose his way and find that he has lost tomorrow because of the burdens of today. So let's start listing what we want for tomorrow!

            Something wonderful happens inside when one re-thinks goals, writes them down, declares them to others, prays about them, and looks forward to tomorrow.

            This is not a time to dwell on the negativity and hopelessness that seems to be permeating our society. It's there. But this is the time to look up and look inward to find those things that still call you/us to tomorrow.

            I am starting a new list today

On the Fall Garden

            The garden is slowing down. So is Fred.

            The grasshoppers are speeding up. The mob is prolifically increasing and dive bombing anything they can chew up.

            And I, like the garden, (and Fred) am slowing down too. But I am also dive bombing what veggies are left.

            My Bible study friends think I am just a bet "tetched" in the head. They observe the canned tomatoes on the counter and know that I have been on a canning frenzy lately.  They wonder about me because they, like me, have slowed down too. And they have no desire to "can" anything.

            But, I like to can. I love fresh canned tomatoes in my stews and soups in the winter. I enjoy the onions and can't have too many of those either.

            I have made peace with the garden.

            It wasn't always that way.

            I married Fred. He is a planter. He inherited his mother's passion and loves to see things grow.

            Every single, cotton-picking year!

            He plants a garden whether we need one or not. And he never misses his scheduled St.Patrick's day planting of the potatoes (ceremony).

            I used to feel overwhelmed and a little bit peeved when he would tromp into the kitchen with potatoes, cucumbers, onions, tomatoes, squash, green peppers, and whatever else the summer garden provided. He would put the bucket on the floor in front of the sink, and load the sink and accompanying colander with more .

            But he trained me and I learned the ropes after about 30 years. Note: It took 30 years!

            However, I trained him too.

            He takes off his garden shoes at the back door.

            He washes the potatoes outside.( That was the routine anyway until a few years ago when we discovered that potatoes keep longer if one leaves the garden soil on them).

            He helps get the produce into the refrigerators before their usefulness is obliterated by the outside warmth.

            So, O.K. he helps. You get that.

            What I have learned is that we all need to eat more real food. I define real food as food in its natural state. Food that has not been chemicalized, pasteurized, process-ized, or ruin-ized. We should eat food that is in its total original state as much as possible. And spraying is not good, but often necessary.

            About fifteen years ago, something went "click" in my brain cells.

            I began to enjoy cooking about as much as I enjoy eating!

            I no longer become angry at the potatoes and cucumbers. I made friends with the tomatoes. We gave as many away as we kept too!

            Fred took over making the cucumber, onion, and vinegar mixture that most of us enjoy. We learned to add tomatoes, chopped up in chunks, and the mixture made a great substitute for a salad.

            Some of you younger marrieds may not know about this recipe, so here it is probably too late in the season.

            Peel and slice 4 or 5 cucumbers into a large bowl

            Slice and dice a whole onion, preferably white. ( a red onion will color the mixture)

             Add vinegar, salt, and water to the bowl and add sugar to your liking. The mixture should be strong but not overpowering, and the sugar should only tone down the vinegar so you don't need much…perhaps 5 Tablespoons. (yes you can substitute artificial sweeteners)

            Cover the cucumber, onion mixture and refrigerate. Add cucumbers and onions; even tomatoes whenever you choose.

             Now that it is Fall, I am glad, happy, content, joyous, and at peace with the grasshoppers.

            All good things come to an end.

            And next Spring I will again be ready for the next garden! My attitude will be expectant, and I will be nice to Fred.

A Tale of Political Correctness

            I have been lately pondering a Children's Classic written and published in 1837 by Hans Christian Anderson.

            It really is not a children's story however. It's a tale of our society and world.

            "The Emperor's New Clothes" tells of two weavers who promise an Emperor a new suit of clothes that is invisible to those who are unfit for their positions, stupid, or incompetent. When the Emperor parades before his subjects in his new clothes, no one DARES to say that he doesn't see any suit of clothes until a child cries out," But he isn't wearing anything at all!"

            Leave it up to an innocent child who would unabashedly shout exactly what he saw.

            Imagine the fear and the reluctance of the citizenry in this story to tell the truth. After all, an open declaration that the Emperor was naked would reap the accusation of being "incompetent, stupid, or unfit for any position". And who knows what would happen to the poor, honest citizen then?

            Sound familiar?

            This story is relevant today. The truth is constantly skewed.  Repeat a crazy explanation enough times and it will eventually become a valid fact to the ears of the receivers. No matter how ridiculous the tale may be, it eventually becomes palatable, either because the hearers are worn out from hearing it, or because they have forgotten how the original tale began.

            There's nothing new under the sun, is there? We keep falling for the same tricks.

            Whether it's an exaggerated lie of the press, a defensive position of the those in authority, or simply one of your kids making up a ridiculous story to explain what really happened?   It's all the same.

            Any one who chooses to speak TRUTH risks being verbally maimed, defaced, or accused of stupidity.

            No one wants to be judged as incompetent, stupid, or unfit!

            We are in a stupor. (That's where the word "stupid" comes from) Or we are cowards. Or we are just plain ignorant of what is going on.

            Never have things been so crazy and skewed.  Up is down, right is wrong, wrong is right, good is bad, and so on.  

            We have all heard the lion story…over, and over, and over. People are in an uproar!

            On the other hand, human babies who could survive out of the womb , are being extricated from the womb, carefully destroyed as to not damage their organs, and methodically cut to pieces.

            And we hear hardly a peep over that atrocity. Oh, but funding the atrocity? Yes, by all means!

            Or how about this?  23 American veterans commit suicide every day. No one cares. One lion gets killed and people are rabid.

            What is the matter with us? Have we believed the constant barrage of mind altering logic telling us that animal life is precious while human life, created in the image of God, is worthless and cheap?  Or do we acknowledge in our hearts that the system is naked, and blind, and off track.

             Could it be that we do not want to speak up because we might be accused of stupidity, simple mindedness, or incompetence?

            We once lived in a society where respect for human life, and using common sense was the pervasive argument for our policies. Sure, doublespeak and corruption went on, but the general public ran on solid, moral values.

            Is there a child among us? Hey, child! Will you shout the truth? 

            Maybe the national news media will notice his cry and tell it like it is.

            I hope so.

           Co 

On Triathlons

          A local woman, in her early 50's, a avid runner, recently signed up for an Ironman triathlon a month ago. She, Marcy, is nervous. I can't imagine!

            You see, Fred and I were once runners! No, excuse me! Not runners. Joggers.

Fred jogged at an acceptable man's pace, and I jogged at MY pace. The definition of my actions commonly referred to as "jogging" is this: bouncing up and down, slowly, with the intent of moving slightly faster than a walk.

            There.

            However, I did run once in the Fourth of July two mile event. It taught me that I didn't want to try that ever again.

            While reading the Ironman rules that Marcy has probably read ten times (so that she doesn't miss anything), I came upon some interesting, well defined prohibitions for runners.

            No doubt, the WTC which sponsors "Ironman" competition, has had to define in great detail every iota of action that could be taken by athletes during the competition! There are always some who think of some new way to get the advantage.

            Here's a few interesting rules that apply depending on the race. (swim, bike, run) To break them would mean likely disqualification.

            Fair play, equality, and sportsmanship are always the first rules printed out for any competition. Respect for the authorities , referees, volunteers, spectators, etc. is written and explained thoroughly.( Being rude, challenging the authority, or shooting off the mouth results in erasure of your existence)

            Now said, keep in mind that the following rules have no doubt evolved over time because of infractions. Let your mind imagine.

            Avoid indecent exposure and public nudity at all times during the event. Such displays may result in disqualification. (The less clothes, the less friction, the faster one goes?) They don't need to worry about me breaking that rule!

            Athletes may run, crawl, or walk the course. (I would definitely be crawling!)

            Swimwear must not cover the neck, must not extend past the shoulder, and must not extend past the knees.(Whatever they could be hiding, they would try)

            Swimwear must be 100% textile material (natural or synthetics) and may not be rubberized material such a polyurethane or neoprene.  (Don't you just know someone had floaties inserted in the clothes somewhere?!)

            Wetsuit can be no more than five millimeters thick. (The more the rubber, the more it floats?)

            No using communication devices during the competition

            No wearing of headsets, or headphones.  (what possibly could be talked about during such an exhausting race?)

            No drugs (well, shoot. Killjoys!) I've got to bear the pain?

            No bare torsos. (Can't you imagine that someone didn't consider that rule of nudity applied here?)

            Must wear official (color coded by group?) swim caps during swim competition. (Unless it accidentally gets kicked off by some enthusiastic swimmer flailing by)

            Failure to follow prescribed course. (shortcuts anyone?)

            No helping other athletes with a complete bike, a frame, wheels, helmet, bike shoes, etc. (They've tried everything in the past obviously. Fred would not be able to even pump up my tire!)

            And did you know there is a disciplinary tent for those who commit infractions that do not lead to disqualification. The tent discipline confinement adds 5 minutes to the competitors time, plus the time they lose sitting there.( The naughty competitor can eat his own snacks but cannot use the time to go to the restroom. That is a separate time-sensitive break on him. Kind of like being made to sit in the corner as a kid!

            Reading these rules confirms to me that I didn't break any of these back then. But maybe I would have taken a short cut had I thought of one to take!

            And once again, I am reminded of how devious our little minds can be in trying to get ahead, and find a shortcut! 

            It's just the way mankind is!

On Edible Food

           

      

   I read an article sometime back decrying our American preoccupation of cultivating green, grassy, lawns.  It went something like this.

            We plant grass, we fertilize it, and we water it. Then we cut it. We haul it off. We  mow with expensive lawn mowers that need gas and oil . All expensive. We cut the grass, collect it in piles, and then discard the very grass that we have been working so hard to grow. Then the process starts all over again. We do it over and over.

            We deplete valuable, fertile soil to raise our grass, so we fertilize so that we can grow more…and all this time we are diligently working at getting  rid of the varmint weeds…you know, the dandelions and the lambs quarter.

            We are such lemmings. I don't even know if we know why we invest such time and money in growing grass! We just do.

            In California, there is a terrible water shortage. But even before that drought became serious, a movement was escalating among the "yuppie" crowd to forget grass and grow food instead. Even front yard rock gardens could be attractively arranged with edibles. You know, like olden times! A garden! There's a site aimed at this pursuit and it is www.foodnotlawns.com . Take a look. Maybe get some tips?

            But there's more to this story. I have discovered and am learning slowwwwwly that there are many edible plants around that we are discarding or ignoring. We are totally clueless. Such knowledge has disappeared among this "modern" and very dependent population.

            Some of you know. You recognize these natural edible herbs, berries, tubers, and the like.  Not me. I am still at the kindergarten level.

             Let's look at Dandelions.  Do you know that they are good to eat? This free food is right under our noses. But, we dig them up, or spray them to keep them from spreading. The lowly Dandelion happens to be a great source of iron, Vitamins A and C, Calcium and many other vitamins and minerals. The yellow head is the edible part. It must be picked early in the Spring. The harvested  head can be dipped in egg and bread crumbs; then fried for a delicious snack. If you try this be sure it hasn't been sprayed with herbicides. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zgh_qo--QJ8

            There are scads of books available on Amazon relating to the edible plants among our natural vegetation.

            Fred hunts Morel mushrooms. Yes, you need to know what you are hunting .The Morel is distinctive in its appearance.

            The  native sand hill plums are ripening now. They make delicious jelly and jams. And most of the time, these bushes are available to any one for the picking.

            Elderberries are delicious too. They hang in clusters on bushes and are deep purple. The only reason I don't pick them is because I am a bit lazy. But I am turning over a new leaf! No pun intended.

            Lamb's Quarter is another available naturally grown vegetable. Once you recognize its distinctive look, you will find it. Lamb's Quarter makes great salads, and is similar in taste to fresh spinach.

            Day Lilies can be eaten as well.  Prolific in the wild or in the garden, they open in the morning and close at night. They bear flowers, blossoms, and shriveled blooms (all edible)  at the same time and are distant cousins of the onion. Their tubers are edible as well, and can be harvested in early April or late October. The tubers look like thin potatoes and can be boiled. The flower petals and buds can be picked and dipped in egg and bread crumbs and fried. Once fried on both sides, they resemble bacon, and taste sweet with a bit of zing. Look up "Blanche Cybele Derby? on You Tube and watch some of her videos.

            If you are like me, this information might overwhelm, and yet, it intrigues one to know more. People actually used to know this information.

            We are accustomed to running to the grocery store for food, but we might want to recognize other sources for food.  At least, if nothing else, plant something that can be eaten. . It's not hard. Ask Fred.

             The abundant returns are, well, rewarding!