On Triathlons

          A local woman, in her early 50's, a avid runner, recently signed up for an Ironman triathlon a month ago. She, Marcy, is nervous. I can't imagine!

            You see, Fred and I were once runners! No, excuse me! Not runners. Joggers.

Fred jogged at an acceptable man's pace, and I jogged at MY pace. The definition of my actions commonly referred to as "jogging" is this: bouncing up and down, slowly, with the intent of moving slightly faster than a walk.

            There.

            However, I did run once in the Fourth of July two mile event. It taught me that I didn't want to try that ever again.

            While reading the Ironman rules that Marcy has probably read ten times (so that she doesn't miss anything), I came upon some interesting, well defined prohibitions for runners.

            No doubt, the WTC which sponsors "Ironman" competition, has had to define in great detail every iota of action that could be taken by athletes during the competition! There are always some who think of some new way to get the advantage.

            Here's a few interesting rules that apply depending on the race. (swim, bike, run) To break them would mean likely disqualification.

            Fair play, equality, and sportsmanship are always the first rules printed out for any competition. Respect for the authorities , referees, volunteers, spectators, etc. is written and explained thoroughly.( Being rude, challenging the authority, or shooting off the mouth results in erasure of your existence)

            Now said, keep in mind that the following rules have no doubt evolved over time because of infractions. Let your mind imagine.

            Avoid indecent exposure and public nudity at all times during the event. Such displays may result in disqualification. (The less clothes, the less friction, the faster one goes?) They don't need to worry about me breaking that rule!

            Athletes may run, crawl, or walk the course. (I would definitely be crawling!)

            Swimwear must not cover the neck, must not extend past the shoulder, and must not extend past the knees.(Whatever they could be hiding, they would try)

            Swimwear must be 100% textile material (natural or synthetics) and may not be rubberized material such a polyurethane or neoprene.  (Don't you just know someone had floaties inserted in the clothes somewhere?!)

            Wetsuit can be no more than five millimeters thick. (The more the rubber, the more it floats?)

            No using communication devices during the competition

            No wearing of headsets, or headphones.  (what possibly could be talked about during such an exhausting race?)

            No drugs (well, shoot. Killjoys!) I've got to bear the pain?

            No bare torsos. (Can't you imagine that someone didn't consider that rule of nudity applied here?)

            Must wear official (color coded by group?) swim caps during swim competition. (Unless it accidentally gets kicked off by some enthusiastic swimmer flailing by)

            Failure to follow prescribed course. (shortcuts anyone?)

            No helping other athletes with a complete bike, a frame, wheels, helmet, bike shoes, etc. (They've tried everything in the past obviously. Fred would not be able to even pump up my tire!)

            And did you know there is a disciplinary tent for those who commit infractions that do not lead to disqualification. The tent discipline confinement adds 5 minutes to the competitors time, plus the time they lose sitting there.( The naughty competitor can eat his own snacks but cannot use the time to go to the restroom. That is a separate time-sensitive break on him. Kind of like being made to sit in the corner as a kid!

            Reading these rules confirms to me that I didn't break any of these back then. But maybe I would have taken a short cut had I thought of one to take!

            And once again, I am reminded of how devious our little minds can be in trying to get ahead, and find a shortcut! 

            It's just the way mankind is!

On Edible Food

           

      

   I read an article sometime back decrying our American preoccupation of cultivating green, grassy, lawns.  It went something like this.

            We plant grass, we fertilize it, and we water it. Then we cut it. We haul it off. We  mow with expensive lawn mowers that need gas and oil . All expensive. We cut the grass, collect it in piles, and then discard the very grass that we have been working so hard to grow. Then the process starts all over again. We do it over and over.

            We deplete valuable, fertile soil to raise our grass, so we fertilize so that we can grow more…and all this time we are diligently working at getting  rid of the varmint weeds…you know, the dandelions and the lambs quarter.

            We are such lemmings. I don't even know if we know why we invest such time and money in growing grass! We just do.

            In California, there is a terrible water shortage. But even before that drought became serious, a movement was escalating among the "yuppie" crowd to forget grass and grow food instead. Even front yard rock gardens could be attractively arranged with edibles. You know, like olden times! A garden! There's a site aimed at this pursuit and it is www.foodnotlawns.com . Take a look. Maybe get some tips?

            But there's more to this story. I have discovered and am learning slowwwwwly that there are many edible plants around that we are discarding or ignoring. We are totally clueless. Such knowledge has disappeared among this "modern" and very dependent population.

            Some of you know. You recognize these natural edible herbs, berries, tubers, and the like.  Not me. I am still at the kindergarten level.

             Let's look at Dandelions.  Do you know that they are good to eat? This free food is right under our noses. But, we dig them up, or spray them to keep them from spreading. The lowly Dandelion happens to be a great source of iron, Vitamins A and C, Calcium and many other vitamins and minerals. The yellow head is the edible part. It must be picked early in the Spring. The harvested  head can be dipped in egg and bread crumbs; then fried for a delicious snack. If you try this be sure it hasn't been sprayed with herbicides. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zgh_qo--QJ8

            There are scads of books available on Amazon relating to the edible plants among our natural vegetation.

            Fred hunts Morel mushrooms. Yes, you need to know what you are hunting .The Morel is distinctive in its appearance.

            The  native sand hill plums are ripening now. They make delicious jelly and jams. And most of the time, these bushes are available to any one for the picking.

            Elderberries are delicious too. They hang in clusters on bushes and are deep purple. The only reason I don't pick them is because I am a bit lazy. But I am turning over a new leaf! No pun intended.

            Lamb's Quarter is another available naturally grown vegetable. Once you recognize its distinctive look, you will find it. Lamb's Quarter makes great salads, and is similar in taste to fresh spinach.

            Day Lilies can be eaten as well.  Prolific in the wild or in the garden, they open in the morning and close at night. They bear flowers, blossoms, and shriveled blooms (all edible)  at the same time and are distant cousins of the onion. Their tubers are edible as well, and can be harvested in early April or late October. The tubers look like thin potatoes and can be boiled. The flower petals and buds can be picked and dipped in egg and bread crumbs and fried. Once fried on both sides, they resemble bacon, and taste sweet with a bit of zing. Look up "Blanche Cybele Derby? on You Tube and watch some of her videos.

            If you are like me, this information might overwhelm, and yet, it intrigues one to know more. People actually used to know this information.

            We are accustomed to running to the grocery store for food, but we might want to recognize other sources for food.  At least, if nothing else, plant something that can be eaten. . It's not hard. Ask Fred.

             The abundant returns are, well, rewarding!