A local woman, in her early 50's, a avid runner, recently signed up for an Ironman triathlon a month ago. She, Marcy, is nervous. I can't imagine!
You see,
Fred and I were once runners! No, excuse me! Not runners. Joggers.
Fred jogged at an acceptable man's pace, and I jogged at MY
pace. The definition of my actions commonly referred to as "jogging"
is this: bouncing up and down, slowly, with the intent of moving slightly
faster than a walk.
There.
However, I
did run once in the Fourth of July two mile event. It taught me that I didn't
want to try that ever again.
While
reading the Ironman rules that Marcy has probably read ten times (so that she
doesn't miss anything), I came upon some interesting, well defined prohibitions
for runners.
No doubt,
the WTC which sponsors "Ironman" competition, has had to define in
great detail every iota of action that could be taken by athletes during the competition!
There are always some who think of some new way to get the advantage.
Here's a
few interesting rules that apply depending on the race. (swim, bike, run) To
break them would mean likely disqualification.
Fair play,
equality, and sportsmanship are always the first rules printed out for any
competition. Respect for the authorities , referees, volunteers, spectators,
etc. is written and explained thoroughly.( Being rude, challenging the
authority, or shooting off the mouth results in erasure of your existence)
Now said,
keep in mind that the following rules have no doubt evolved over time because
of infractions. Let your mind imagine.
Avoid
indecent exposure and public nudity at all times during the event. Such
displays may result in disqualification. (The less clothes, the less friction,
the faster one goes?) They don't need to worry about me breaking that rule!
Athletes
may run, crawl, or walk the course. (I would definitely be crawling!)
Swimwear
must not cover the neck, must not extend past the shoulder, and must not extend
past the knees.(Whatever they could be hiding, they would try)
Swimwear
must be 100% textile material (natural or synthetics) and may not be rubberized
material such a polyurethane or neoprene.
(Don't you just know someone had floaties inserted in the clothes
somewhere?!)
Wetsuit can
be no more than five millimeters thick. (The more the rubber, the more it
floats?)
No using
communication devices during the competition
No wearing
of headsets, or headphones. (what possibly
could be talked about during such an exhausting race?)
No drugs
(well, shoot. Killjoys!) I've got to bear the pain?
No bare
torsos. (Can't you imagine that someone didn't consider that rule of nudity
applied here?)
Must wear
official (color coded by group?) swim caps during swim competition. (Unless it
accidentally gets kicked off by some enthusiastic swimmer flailing by)
Failure to
follow prescribed course. (shortcuts anyone?)
No helping
other athletes with a complete bike, a frame, wheels, helmet, bike shoes, etc.
(They've tried everything in the past obviously. Fred would not be able to even
pump up my tire!)
And did you
know there is a disciplinary tent for those who commit infractions that do not
lead to disqualification. The tent discipline confinement adds 5 minutes to the
competitors time, plus the time they lose sitting there.( The naughty
competitor can eat his own snacks but cannot use the time to go to the
restroom. That is a separate time-sensitive break on him. Kind of like being
made to sit in the corner as a kid!
Reading
these rules confirms to me that I didn't break any of these back then. But
maybe I would have taken a short cut had I thought of one to take!
And once
again, I am reminded of how devious our little minds can be in trying to get
ahead, and find a shortcut!
It's just
the way mankind is!
No comments:
Post a Comment